


I Have Something to Say

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Series: I Have Inside Me Blood of Kings [3]
Category: Da Vinci's Demons
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Decisions, Immortality, Leo is a good man but a terrible friend, M/M, Not Season/Series 03 Compliant, Trope Bingo Round 6, implied Leario, past suicide attempts mentioned, trusts and vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5990412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo must decide his own destiny, make the difficult choices, and hope Riario can accept what needs to be done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have Something to Say

Leo left Riario at the studio, helping Andrea tidying up after the fire, salvaging what they could, and removing what they could not. He was heading for the Palace when he was accosted by Al-Rahim.

"Not now," Leo said.

"Why are you here?" Al-Rahim asked, puzzled.

"I don't have time for metaphysical or philosophical questions."

"You are not supposed to be here." Al-Rahim stepped in front of Leo, staring at him intently. "Your destiny is not here."

Leo gave a harsh laugh. "How about I choose my destiny from now on?"

The Turk frowned. "There's something different about you. It was difficult for me to find you at all. What is this magic?"

That was interesting. If Al-Rahim didn't know about Leo's immorality, Leo wasn't about to tell him.

"You're the mystic. I'm just a man who wants to go and visit his friends."

Al-Rahim glared at him. "You must go to Otranto. Only there will you find what you seek."

Not what the bronze head had told him. Leo intended to go home, to Vinci, eventually, and look for the Book, but not today. He had other things on his mind.

Leo folded his arms. "You know, you keep showing up and telling me the One True Way things have to be, and how terrible things will happen if I don't listen to you. Well I'm still alive, and so are my friends, and to be quite honest I'm done with the Church and the Turks and the Sons of Mithras and the Enemies of Man. You're all preaching there's only one way, yet you all have a different idea of what that might be. So how about you all fuck off and let me decide what I'm going to do."

"I warn you," Al-Rahim began.

"Terrible things," Leo interrupted. "Got it."

"Lorenzo is in Otranto," Al-Rahim said and that got Leo's attention. "He needs your help, Leonardo. An invasion is coming, and he will be killed if you do not go to him."

"I'll think about it," Leo said, hiding his panic. "Now get out of my way, if you're even really here." He stepped forward and Al-Rahim was gone, vanished into thin air.

###

"Nice decorations you've put up," Leo said of the gruesome spectacle he'd passed on his way into the Palace, and Clarice gave a thin smile.

"Desecrating that traitor's body is the only solace left to me," she said. "If I could have put him on a spike while he lived, watched him bleed to death, I would have. If only I could have killed him myself."

"I said the same," Leo admitted. "But if Riario hadn't shown up when he did and killed Carlo, I might be dead."

He had been, though not for long, but Clarice didn't need to know about the immortality he and Riario now shared any more than the Turk did.

"Why is Count Riario in Florence?" Clarice asked, taking a seat behind Lorenzo's desk.

 _He's immortal and when he found he couldn't die no matter how hard he tried he came to me for help_ was the truth but not what Leo intended to go with.

"He brought word from Rome," Leo said with sudden inspiration. "There's an invasion about to take place at Otranto. And there are rumours that suggest Lorenzo is there, preparing to defend us against the Turks."

Clarice gave him an appraising look. "Why did the count not come to me with this news?"

"He was on his way to, when he happened upon Carlo trying to kill me. And, um, he was injured a little, in the struggle." The lies came too easily. Leo was going to have problems keeping all this straight in his head later. "I said I would come and inform you. As soon as Riario can get back on his horse he will return to Rome, to rally the troops."

Apparently his subconscious had been making decisions without his conscious input. Shit, Riario wasn't going to like that.

"Rally the troops?"

"Yes. And you should think about doing the same. A united Italy might be our best hope of defeating the Turks, if they cannot be stopped at Otranto."

"You truly believe this?"

"I think I do." Leo tucked his hair behind his ears. "I'm going to go to Otranto." 

Was he? All right then. But he was going to have words with his subconscious later.

"I'll find the truth of it," Leo promised. "I'll find Lorenzo, if he's there."

Clarice nodded and rubbed at her eyes. "Bring him home."

"I will do my best. And I will assist in the efforts to repel the Turks before they even reach our shores." Leo wished he knew when to shut the hell up, but his subconscious and his mouth seemed to operating independently of the rest of his brain.

Clarice sighed. "We've barely begun the clean up from our recent occupation. The last thing we need is an invasion. Stop them, Leonardo. Bring my husband home. Protect Florence."

Leo bowed, because it seemed appropriate. "Yes, my Lady."

Clarice nodded and got to her feet. "You will want to see your friends now."

"Very much so." That had been his intent, before Al-Rahim had shown up.

###

Leo bounced baby Giulio for what he thought was a polite amount of time and then handed him back to Vanessa.

"He's lovely," Leo said. "But we need to talk. Or I need to talk and everything I say is going to sound like I'm making it up, but you need to listen. Please."

Nico and Vanessa exchanged a glance and then gave him their full attention.

"Immortal?" Nico said sceptically when Leo had finished his tale.

"I know," Leo said. "I know it sounds mad. I'd prove it, but Zo gave me a lecture about cutting body parts off. If he was here, he'd tell you how he's seen it for himself, but he wanted to go and check on some of his other friends, see if any of his old haunts have survived."

Nico gave him a look. "You and Riario are both immortal."

"Yes."

Vanessa cleared her throat. "And now you want to go running off to defeat a supposed Turkish invasion because someone you hallucinated told you to?"

"Well it sounds crazy when you put it like it," Leo complained. "But yes. I have to. I owe it to Lorenzo."

Nico made a small noise of disquiet. Vanessa eyed him suspiciously.

"And one more thing. If I can't stop the invasion, then all of Italy is at risk. Riario will go back to Rome and persuade the Pope to raise an army. Florence and the other city states should join with them, just this once. It might be our only hope of defeating the Turks. Ideally I would go with Riario and persuade Sixtus to fund the building of my improved weaponry. And Lorenzo can argue that I've betrayed him by sharing the designs I created for Florence after I've saved him. But I have to go to Otranto. I said that, didn't I?"

"Several times," Nico murmured.

"Right. So Nico, I need you to go to Rome with Riario. You're clever, persuasive, and can talk the engineers through my designs. And Riario – let's say I don't want to leave him alone. Being immortal has come as a bit of a shock. He's not handling it that well."

Let them draw their own conclusions on that front.

"Yes," Vanessa said bitterly. "You've been back about five minutes and you can't wait to leave again, and send Nico away too. I love you, Leo, we all love you, and yet you will leave us behind without a second thought, send us on your quests without consideration for our safety or desires!"

Giulio began to cry and she gave a sob. She'd been imprisoned, Leo recalled, had birthed her child little more than hours ago. She was entitled to be as fucked up as he and Riario were. She had the right to be angry with him for what she saw as abandonment, even though Leo saw it as a means to protect her.

"Vanessa." Leo rubbed at his face. "I'm sorry. I have to go. But I promise I'll come back. I'm immortal, remember? It's not like I can die."

He moved to press his lips to her hair, while she ignored him, staring down at the fretful child in her arms. "I'll bring you something nice back from Otranto," he joked, and that drew a wan smile from her.

Nico stepped forward. "If you don’t want me to go, I won't," he told her,.

"No, Leo says you must go, so you must. I know how this always goes," Vanessa said bitterly. "But if you don't both come home safely I will never forgive you."

She swept out of the room. Leo chewed at his lip. Shit, that was harsh if rather deserved. And it was going to be worse when he had to explain this to Riario.

"I wouldn't ask if I saw another way," Leo told Nico.

"I know. But you had better be right about this," Nico said. "And you had better be immortal, because riding off into the middle of an invasion seems like the stupidest idea you've ever had, and you're had some truly stupid ones."

Leo couldn't disagree.

###

When Leo returned to the studio, Andrea was repairing a shelving unit, hammering industriously.

"Where's Riario?" Leo asked, feeling a stab of worry at his absence.

"He went to get more wood for the repairs," Andrea said. "He doesn't talk much, does he?" He winked. "Probably can't get a word in with you around."

Leo laughed in response, but he was concerned. Riario usually had a lot to say, and his silence spoke to the withdrawal Zo had warned Leo about, that Riario was not taking being immortal well. "I'm going to go and look for him."

Andrea made a good natured jibe about Leo disappearing when there was work to do, but didn't protest.

There was no sign of Riario at the nearest market, or the docks, or any of the other five places Leo looked for him. It was a fool's errand, searching for someone who might not want to be found. It bothered Leo more than he would have admitted aloud that Riario might have taken it into his head to try a more inventive way of killing himself, could even now be weighted down in the ocean's depths, for example. That he might be opening up his wrists again, trying to bleed to death, only to revive once more.

Zo had warned Leo that he ought to keep an eye on Riario. It was true that Leo saw immortality as a grand adventure while Riario saw it as curse that would forever bar him from God's grace, but Leo expected that Riario would in time come to accept that life had much to offer. He should have listened to Zo, should have had this talk earlier.

To his relief, when he gave up and went home, Riario was outside the studio. Perched on a pile of debris, he was drinking from a waterskin, and the sweat on his skin suggested he'd been hard at work.

"Hey," Leo said softly.

Riario narrowed his eyes. "Andrea said you would return as soon as the heavy lifting was done."

"That's not fair," Leo said, glad of the chance to banter. He moved to stand in front of Riario. "I do plenty of work around here."

"And then destroy most of it," Riario said, putting the waterskin aside.

Apparently Andrea had been happy to prattle on endlessly to fill the silence. Leo rolled his eyes. He would be happy to bicker further, but he knew he was just putting off the inevitable.

He crouched down, taking one of Riario's hands in his. "Girolamo. I'm sorry. I know you're having problems adjusting to our new situation. I know you feel lost and alone and I should have been more sensitive and less excited. But I'm immortal too, and I will continue to investigate exactly how this happened and see if there's a way to undo it. Though I hope in time you might come to see life as a blessing once more."

Riario said nothing. Leo took a breath.

"You are not alone. If you are doomed to wander the world forever, so am I. We will face this fate together." He sighed. "Which only makes what I'm going to say now all the more difficult."

"You're going to ask me to leave." Riario had clearly been expecting that, and there was as much hurt as there was resignation in his tone and it tore at Leo's heart and soul.

"Things have become complicated," Leo said. "Lorenzo is in Otranto attempting to repel a Turkish invasion. I have to go and help him. I have to try and stop a war before it reaches our shores. I need to at least try to protect Florence, and that means trying to prevent her from ever being in danger."

"I could come with you," Riario said. "Two immortal warriors could do quite a lot of damage to any army."

Leo gave him a tight smile. "I would gladly have you at my side. But given the history between you and Lorenzo I don't think that is the best idea."

Riario swallowed. "But you will take Zoroaster."

He hadn't considered it, but of course Zo would accompany him. Leo squeezed Riario's hand. "If I don't, he'll follow me anyway. And besides, I think you can do more good elsewhere. Would you consider going back to Rome?"

Riario looked away. "You're sending me away."

"No. I'm asking you to go on an important mission. Sixtus must help us," Leo said. "If for any reason I fail to stem the tide then Rome, Florence, the whole of Italy is at risk. You can persuade him of this. You can gather money, supplies, troops. I need you to be my backup plan. I know what I'm asking of you, to return there, but it is the best scheme I can come up with."

Riario gave him a dark look. Leo tried to lift his spirits. "Nico will go with you. You like Nico, don't you?"

Riario lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "We have an understanding."

God forbid Riario had friends.

"Will you go?" _Please_ , Leo begged silently, given that he'd already told people his plan was in motion.

Riario considered. "This is what you want?"

"It's not what I want at all," Leo said. "But it's my best plan of action under the circumstances." 

Riario gave a brief nod.

Leo swallowed. "I can say you're never alone, that we'll be looking at the same stars every night, that I believe our immortal hearts beat in unison, and I can promise I will think of you each morning when I wake. And you can be cynical and brush these things off as ridiculous sentimentality. But they're true."

He wanted to wrap his arms around Riario, to hold him tight, to kiss him even, and where the hell had that thought come from? It was true though, and Leo wanted to comfort Riario as he himself would want to be comforted. But he didn't think Riario would necessarily want or accept those things. It was enough that he hadn’t pulled away, that he was still letting Leo hold onto his hand, was still listening to Leo speak.

"You have a way with words," Riario said, and there was the hint of a smile.

"There's one more thing," Leo said, wincing in anticipation.

Riario bit back a cry of frustration. "What more can you ask of me?" he demanded, and Leo saw how much effort it took for Riario to hold himself together.

Leo twisted Riario's hand gently, bringing it palm up, exposing his wrist. He rubbed his thumb gently over the scar tissue. "I know you were in pain when you did this," Leo said softly. "I know you're still hurting. But I want you to promise me that you won't harm yourself while we're apart. Not least because you must consider what could happen to your supposed corpse before you revive."

He didn't mention tombs, being buried alive, or any of the even worse things he'd imagined. Riario could think of the consequences for himself.

Riario's eyes widened. He and Leo exchanged a look.

"Anything else?" Riario asked, with a touch more sarcasm than Leo thought necessary.

"Don't kill unless you have to," Leo said, remembering Zo's concern that Riario might be driven mad by his inability to die and begin killing indiscriminately. "Self-defence, defence of others is fine; I mean, use your best judgement."

"I never kill without cause," Riario said with a frown, which would have to suffice.

Leo took a risk, leaned in to press a kiss to Riario's forehead. "I will join you in Rome as soon I can, one way or another," he said. "I promise."

"I believe you," Riario said. "I have great faith and trust in you, artista. Though I have not yet agreed to your demands."

"They're not demands. They're sincere requests."

Riario actually gave a wry chuckle at that. He lifted Leo's hand to his mouth, pressed a kiss to one knuckle. "Then I acquiesce."

Leo let out a long sigh. "Thank you."

He had to hope that he'd given Riario purpose, and that it would be enough to keep him from completely slipping into madness or despair. He had to hope that Nico would be companionship enough, knowing that it ought to be him at Riario's side, or Riario at Leo's. Two sides of the same coin, their destinies intertwined, their pasts so similar, their futures linked. He had to hope that he wasn't making a huge mistake in separating from Riario at this moment.

"We will only be apart a short time," Leo vowed. "And we have all eternity to figure things out."

"For you to find a cure."

Leo winced at the choice of words. He let go of Riario and moved to sit alongside him. They sat in companionable silence until Zo showed up to berate Leo for organising trips to warzones without consulting him, only shutting up when Leo finally got a word in edgewise to let him know that yes, Zo was coming with him.

"You'll be all right, going to Rome?" Zo asked Riario and Leo nearly fell over in shock.

Riario was stunned too but recovered quickly. "Leonardo is right. Nico and I must persuade the Holy Father to prepare for war."

"Right." Zo shuffled on his feet. "When are we leaving?"

"First thing in the morning. The sooner we get going, the sooner we get back together." Leo hoped he sounded more confident than he felt.


End file.
